Greg Harrington Shares Nothing of Value

‘I Love Shallots’/’I Loves Ya Lots’

A shrewd move by the makers of Love Hearts, who wanted to push their ‘sentimental-message-on-food’ idea into a healthier realm. Turning to the onion’s younger sibling the shallot, the company devised a way of printing their saccharine quips into the vegetable’s very fibre, much like the writing found in a stick of Blackpool rock. Due to the fact that onions are a staple of virtually any meal, the product was initially a runaway success, until someone cried so much due to a combination of overwhelming love and onion odour intolerance that they dried out their whole body and died.